Monday, June 09, 2008

anxiety and control


OK, so those are 2 pretty scary words.......but they are words that are coming up a lot in my life lately.


With a 2 1/2 year old and a 4 month old, I tend to stuggle sometimes with being anxious about how things are "supposed" to go (Grant should be napping 3 times today and they should last 2 hours and he should be sleeping through the night, etc.., etc...)


Sometimes when he is down for a nap and I am at the computer or cleaning up around the house or trying to read an article in a magazine, I feel my stomach cramping up at every little noise...I stop what I am doing and wonder if he's waking up early. I hate to admit it, but I have even gotten angry at Johnny for using the restroom closest to Grant's room, because I don't want him to wake the baby up when he flushes :)


I also struggle sometimes with trying to control every aspect of taking care of the kiddos. Although I want my husband to help out (and he is very willing and able), I often feel like I know best and things would go a lot smoother and faster if I just do it myself.


I guess this is basically just a note to myself to serve as a reminder that this is not who I want to be. I do not want to walk around anxious and on-edge, worrying about every little thing. Sometimes I just need to get over it!! Sometimes I need to just stop and pray when I am feeling anxious or overwhelmed and try to stay in the moment.


Being a mother is hard and sometimes we beat ourselves up too much, heaping guilt on ourselves for every misstep......I know that it is natural to worry about our children and to quesion whether we are being the best Moms we can be, but it is just as important to simply sit back and soak up all the joy that these kiddos have to offer....to really see who they are and enjoy them for the precious gifts from God that they truly are.


Just a reminder to myself :)

1 comment:

The Russell Family said...

good thoughts! :) It's hard to relax -- i totally understand!

~W

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