We're Back

Back from vacation and I won't sugar coat our experience :) It is tough traveling with a 16 month old and at times, I think I let my anxiety about it all get to me. I hate that post-vacation feeling of wishing I had just relaxed more.....just let it all unfold as it was meant to unfold instead of trying to control everything which basically just makes me tired and doesn't really change the course of things at all. We really did have some great moments: getting to walk Sienna down the aisle for the wedding (her first flower girl experience), walking with Johnny in the 2nd line parade through the streets of New Orleans, seeing Sienna play in the ocean after she got over her fear of the sand, getting ice cream with my hubby and watching a bride and groom dance their first dance in the center of Seaside after being announced by a bag pipe, buying some wonderful art at Artquest and just being so inspired by all the artists!! Wonderful memories, yet I know that I was short with Johnny at times and I nagged just a tad too much ("you forgot her pacifier again!!") I was reading Marianne Williamson's book "The Gift of Change" last night and I was reminded that the purpose of a marriage (or any relationship) is to serve God and not to have my own needs met. I sooo needed to hear that again! It just reminds me that I need to just let go and let God handle things---I am not in control and trying to control every little situation only makes it more clear how not in control I really am :) I need to stop before I just react and ask myself if what I am about to say will serve the will of God. I need to treat my husband with the love and respect he deserves and that God commands. I need to remember that this is a precious time in my daughter's life and I should enjoy all the moments we have as a family. I am so very blessed!
So......... sorry for the personal nature of this post, but I figure I am not the only one who has ever had a few feelings of regret after a vacation mixed in with the good stuff.....
I was also thinking on Mother's Day of how very blessed I am and how I don't ever want to take that for granted. I have a beautiful little girl who is so full of personality and charm and I have a wonderful mother, grandmother and great-grandmother all still very much alive and all healthy for today, which is all any of us can really ask for. I caught myself on Sunday at times thinking of what I wanted Mother's Day to be like for me, and then I gently reminded myself that this is a day about all mothers----all the women in my life that have taught me and nurtured me and helped me to grow into the woman I am today. It is about giving thanks to those women and sending them love and affirmation for all that they are. We were on the road coming home from our trip for the entire day on Sunday, but this week, I vow to send cards and pictures to the women in my life that I admire and appreciate. I don't know what has brought on these feelings, but I am just feeling the need to reach out more...to get out of my own way and try to bring a little joy, comfort, light to someone else for a change.