Tuesday, January 13, 2009

change



I am not very good at change...I tend to get pretty cozy in my comfort zone and I find myself dreading change even when I know (intellectually) that the change will be good for me (or for someone that I love).
This week, we have had lots of changes around our house. Sienna finally got a big-girl bed yesterday, and I couldn't sleep for 3-4 nights before the bed arrived, worrying about how the transition was going to go. I conjured up all the nightmare scenarios that I possibly could: she would hate the new bed, she wouldn't sleep for weeks, she would wake up at 5am every morning, etc...... And although I know we are not out of the woods quite yet, she did sleep ALL NIGHT in her big-girl bed with no problem. The problem is, I had already allowed myself to experience the worst possible outcomes, and they never even materialized....that adds up to lots of wasted time spent worrying instead of taking my concerns to the Lord and remembering that He is in control of everything.
I have also spent countless hours over the last week agonizing over our decision to put Sienna in a new school.....I know without a doubt that we have made the right decision, but I have still spent way too much time worrying about all sorts of what-ifs (i.e. are we forcing too many changes on Sienna at one time, will she miss her old friends, what will we do about her dance classes, etc...) I'm sure one day I will look back on all of this and just laugh, but this is where we are right now.
I realize that our little girl is growing up so fast, and my responsibilities as her mother are becoming more crucial every single day. It is humbling and often scary to realize that the decisions I make today will affect ALL of her tomorrows!! So the trick is, to understand the seriousness of my task without allowing worry, doubt and anxiety to take over.
Mostly, I just want my children to know that I am so very honored to be their Mother and that I am doing my best to make decisions that will be in their very best interest.

1 comment:

Mimi said...

Kristy, You already have given and are giving your children the most important thing possible - your whole heart full of unconditional love for each of them. I think you
are doing a fantastic job of mothering. (I've been reading your blog since Wendy follows it.) I'm proud of you! What an amazing family you have! God bless you and help you to continue to rest in Him. Linda Munroe

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