simplifying life with kids (part 2)

Here are a few more pointers in the ongoing quest to simplify our lives while raising kids:

(7) Don't schedule too much

* At this stage in our life, this hasn't become much of a problem for us. My kiddos are only 2 and 4, so we haven't quite reached the stage of non-stop practices, recitals, sleep-overs, etc.... BUT my goal is to remember how valuable down time is for a healthy childhood and to stop myself when the urge to over-schedule rears its ugly head.

(8) Have Dedicated Family Times

* For us, this is dinnertime and the weekends. During dinner, we talk about our highs and lows and name 3 things we are thankful for.

* I want my children to have fond memories of mealtime and sitting around the table as a family, so I have made an effort to keep things more peaceful at the table......which is not easy when a certain 2 year old refuses to sit in his seat and throws food at his sister, and when a certain 4 year old continually irritates her brother by kicking his seat and taking food off of his plate. I have tried to maintain my patience, speak in a gentle tone and minimize time outs during dinner.....it is a work in progress!!

(9) Simple Clothing

* For me, this means buying "outfits" or clothes that are easily interchangeable whenever possible.

* I also try to go through closets and drawers every couple months and donate what we have outgrown = NO overstuffed drawers or closet rods!!

* One thing I need to work on in this area, is being more discriminating when choosing which clothes to SAVE. I have big plans of having a quilt made for both kiddos out of their "special" outfits, but one box a piece should really be enough.

(10) Always Bring Snacks

* I have found this to be an invaluable tip many, many times but there are still times when I forget to bring snacks, and I always end up paying for it!

* I recently bough a cute basket at TJ Max with a little chalkboard label on the front that I put in the pantry and stocked with pre-packed snacks. This has served 2 purposes: the kids are able to get their own snacks in the afternoon (limit 2) and I can easily grab a couple packages on our way out the door for the diaper bag.

* Always pack 2 of each snack to minimize bickering over who gets what and Always bring water bottles

(11) Keep an "Emergency Kit" in the Car

* I have done a version of this in the past, but really need to be more consistent. Items to include: baby wipes, change of clothes, little activities/reading material, a towel, sunscreen, bug spray, small first aid kit

(12) Communicate as a Family

* I still think my kids are a little young for a very structured Family Meeting time, but as they get older, I love the idea of having a regular time to come together as a family to talk about prayer requests, household issues, to plan trips and fun outings, to compliment and thank each other, and to discuss ways in which we can improve as a family.

simplifying life with kids (part 1)

I have a thing for the concept of "Simplification." I love the idea of it. I love how it feels to fill garbage bags and bins destined for the trash or Helping Hands. I love reading about tips on how to live with less, how to cut corners and save rather than spend, how to slow down, how to live in the moment, how to enjoy the journey. But sometimes, I find the process of simplification to be a bit like shoveling the driveway while its still snowing. The toys, clothes, scrapbook supplies, books, etc.... in our home seems to magically multiply on their own. Yet, I still strive for a life that is more simple, less complicated. I still clean out closets and try to resist the urge to spend hundreds of dollars every time I walk into Target. I have not given up!!

Yesterday, I came across an article I had saved on my computer a while back (I came across this article during my quest to "simplify" my inbox and inspiration folder on my computer). I remember quickly scanning it the first time I came across it, but this time I decided to really think about how I could make these concepts work in our home, for our family, at this stage in our lives.

(1) Teach Your Children Self-Sufficiency

* sometimes its just easier to do it yourself, but it is time to start enforcing a little self-sufficiency around our house = brushing teeth, making beds, putting plates in the sink, getting dressed

* thinking of starting a Star Chart with a list of chores and rewards

(2) Keep One Calendar

* starting today, I will enter ALL activities for every family member into my iphone and I will make these entries as soon as I become aware of the appointment, recital, practice, etc...

(3) Regular Cleanups

* we do a pretty good job of this at our house already, but I like the idea of letting the kids know that we will have scheduled/regular cleanup times every day (before bed, before meals, before leaving for school in the mornings)

(4) Quiet Bedtime Routines

* OK, so this is an area that needs tweaking in our family.....we have recently gotten into the bad habit of letting the kids watch about 30 minutes of a movie nearly every night before bed...the result has been that the kiddos are less interested in reading and become quite angry when we suggest we might do something else

* starting today, we are going to reserve some nights for "Story Time" and other nights for "Movie Nights" (we are trying to decide which night will work best as Family Movie Night where we all watch a movie together, make popcorn and make it a special weekly event)

* the rest of our bedtime routine will stay the same = dinner, clean up, baths, brush teeth, pajamas, story or movie

(5) Prep the Night Before

* when school starts, I am going to make a huge effort to get things done the night before....this will include packing lunches, preparing back packs and laying out any forms, projects, etc...that need to be turned in the next day

(6) Toy Bins

* this is another area that we are doing really well in....I have toy bins in both kid's rooms as well as in the playroom, and I am not super strict about making sure everything gets put away in the "correct" bin, just that everything gets put away in a bin

* every couple months we go through all the toys and either throw away (broken, missing pieces, Happy Meal) or donate (outgrown, no longer using) and then I re-arrange them into their proper bin

To Be Continued............

a collection of motherhood ideas

First of all, can I just tell you that this photos makes me laugh out loud!! It perfectly captures how 99% of the photos of my children and I turn out. They are usually running around at 90 miles per hour, I grab them in a choke hold........er, I mean loving embrace, and ask my husband to take a quick photos of us. I plaster on my best smile as the shutter releases, and this is inevitably what we end up with. Ahhhh, tender family moments :)

But I refuse to give up! I continue to park myself in front of the camera every now and then rather than always hiding behind it. I read an article in blogland ages ago about how important it is for mothers to make an appearance in the family photos albums........after all, when we are long gone, I have a feeling our children will treasure the photos of their mamas at least as much as the 100+ photos of their 3rd birthday party? That idea made so much sense to me, and I have never forgotten it.

Which got me to thinkin'. I spend a pretty good amount of time surfing blogs and websites, searching for ways to be a better mother, to strengthen family ties, to make our house a home, to infuse spirituality into our daily lives. It's become a hobby of sorts.......a hobby that has introduced me to amazing women, and taught me invaluable lessons. But sometimes, I am overwhelmed by the sheer volume of "helpful" information out there in the blog-o-sphere. There is really only so much a person can take in, and only so many hours in a day to put those wonderful ideas into practice. And I know other mothers (and fathers) struggle with information overload as well. So I thought I would take some time every now and again in my own little corner of blog land, to share some of my personal favorite Motherhood Ideas......a growing "collection" of sorts.

(1) Movie Night - this is one that we are going to implement in our family very soon. Our kids are finally both old enough to sit through an entire movie without too many interruptions, and I love the idea of having a set movie night each week for them to look forward to.......complete with popcorn, blankets and chocolate chip cookies.

(2) Mother's Day Letters - I recently read about this one on one of my favorite blogs and thought it was a great idea! Basically, you set aside a couple hours on Mother's Day each year to write a letter to each of your children. What a wonderful gift to yourself and to your children....and a great way to stop and reflect on the previous year and your progress as a mother.

(3) Making a house a home - this is a big one for me.....something that I am constantly thinking about. A few of my favorite ideas in this area are: hanging up framed photos of family (it doesn't have to be perfect, just get them up on the wall!!!), decorating the kid's bedroom doors with their artwork, hanging up a chalkboard and filling it with favorite quotes, encouraging messages, bible verses, etc...., hanging a large map somewhere in your home and putting little red stickers on all the places someone in your immediate family has been (I especially love this idea because I want to instill a love for travel and adventure in my children).

(4) Have at least one major family tradition each month for the kids to look forward to and anticipate - I am currently working on this one and I LOVE this idea!! Here's an example of ours so far:

January = Grant's birthday

February = Valentine's Day ("heart attack" tradition)

June = Father's Day/Daddy's birthday

August = Mommy's birthday/Back to School celebration

September = Welcome Fall Day

We still have a few months that are tradition-less........working on those today :)

I would love to hear some of your favorite Motherhood Ideas!! I believe we can all be so much better, so much stronger, so much more when we work together and support each other along this journey.

what motherhood has taught me

1. You can love your second child just as much as your first child

2. Breast feeding is not my thing......I had no "good" excuse, I just didn't love it

3. Loving another human being this much is absolutely terrifying

4. Unstructured play is essential for kids and increasingly undervalued

5. Children are capable of way more than we give them credit for

6. All the cliches are true........it really is the most difficult and most rewarding job on earth

7. Believing in and having faith in God is the only thing that makes this journey possible

8. Everything tastes better with sprinkles on top

9. It would be easier to climb Mt. Everest than to go one day at our house without turning the television on

10. Boo-boos feel instantly better when kissed by a loving mommy or daddy

11. Seeing your children have their feelings hurt feels infinitely worse than having your own feelings hurt

12. There is something amazing that happens when you sit down as a family for dinner

13. Children have remarkable memories......so be mindful of what you say and how you say it

14. The way I handle stressful situations will teach my children how to handle stressful situations

15. Spanking just doesn't feel right in my soul, my bones, my heart

16. Distraction and Choices are the 2 best weapons in a parent's arsenal

17. The days are long but the years are short (Gretchen Rubin)

18. Craft projects are messy, but almost always time well spent together

19. Sometimes there is just no substitute for actually getting down on the floor and playing with your kids

20. A consistent bed time routine makes everyone's life more enjoyable

21. Advertisements will begin to influence children the minute they start watching television (advertising execs spend millions of dollars each year to make sure of this) = make good use of Tivo

22. The ordinary acts we practice every day at home do more for the soul than their simplicity might suggest (Thomas Moore)

23. The marriage that my husband and I have is the prototype for the marriage that my children will someday have

intentional motherhood

My goal in mothering is to be intentional (plan ahead, dream, make lists, etc..) yet still allow myself to enjoy our life exactly as it is. I was cruising around some of my favorite blogs today, and I came across this quote: "We often don't realize that the now we currently live with represents our dreams of yesterday fulfilled." That hit me like an arrow straight to the heart!! How long did I dream about becoming a mother? How often did I pray, wish, hope for the sounds of little ones running through the house, taking them to dance classes, pushing them on the swings, reading to them all snuggled in their beds? God has answered every single one of those prayers, but how often do I take the time to stop and thank Him before moving on to my next set of requests?

Instead of being grateful for the children He has blessed me with, I am often frustrated that I can't go to the bathroom by myself, that it takes way too long to get dinner on the table, that one of my children (I won't mention any names) is constantly pulling his sister's hair, or that one of them is sulking off to her room to pout and/or slam the door.

Sometimes, I let those moments get the best of me and I raise my voice in anger..........sometimes I even resort to bribery or threats ("If you don't start behaving, I am going to get in the cabinet and start throwing out every single DVD that we own!!") Many nights, I am literally counting down the minutes until I can tuck then into their own beds, and I can plop down on the couch with their dad to watch some mind-numbing television or just curl up with a good book.

One thing I know for sure, is that motherhood is hard, and when you genuinely want to get it "right," it can seem almost impossible at times. But I have also realized that with a tiny change in my own attitude, I can change the atmosphere of our entire home for the better. Here are a few things that have worked for me (and that I need to put into practice more often!!):

1. Taking a 10-15 minute bath after dinner while my husband plays with the kids or gets them ready for bed

2. Walking away from a frustrating situation to take 10 deep breaths and to pray that God will direct my words and actions when I return to the situation

3. When my son is being especially difficult, instead of raising my voice and matching his tone, I have found that it is MUCH more effective to get down on his level, lower my voice and speak in a calming, gentle tone (DUH?.....I wish I would have figured this one out sooner)

4. I have found that when my kids are hungry for my attention ("Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!!"), instead of trying to accomplish something that isn't really crucial at that particular moment (sending an email or text, organizing a closet, reading a magazine, talking on the phone), it is better for everyone if I just stop what I am doing, get down on the floor with them and really PLAY

5. My kids really thrive on routine, and our nights tend to run much more smoothly when we follow the routine and get them to bed at a reasonable hour (the time change has really messed up our routine and it has been tough for all of us to get back on track)

6. There is no substitute for reading to your children. I have started putting this one back on my "Must Get Accomplished Today" list. It is a win-win for everyone and it means less time in front of the tv!!

7. I make my bed every single morning...it just makes me feel better :)

8. I recently came to the stunning conclusion (insert sarcasm here) that more toys do not equal happier kids..........more toys simply equals more toys = more clutter, more stress, more stuff.......and it also just might equal a little four year old girl who thinks I am supposed to bring her something back every time I leave the house!! So my BIG goal this Spring is to get a handle on the toy situation: donate what we have outgrown, box up some to be brought out at a later date, employ the "something in, something out" rule, buy more handmade/interactive/child does the work toys (i.e. toys without lights and noise....i.e. the ones my son hands me and says they are "broke"), and teach my children (by example) that you can only keep what you have room to efficiently store = no overflowing baskets

9. Get outside. It always makes us feel better!!

10. Pray without ceasing

mothering

At night, when my eyes begin to get heavy, and the words are beginning to blur in the book I'm reading, I usually set the book on the nightstand, turn off the lamp, and do a mental re-cap of that day's events. This usually turns into a nightly prayer.......thanking God for all the blessings in my life and asking Him for strength in the areas in which I am weak. I try hard to not let it turn into an opportunity for "mommy-guilt." I try hard to remind myself that while there were plenty of moments that didn't go as I had hoped, I can always start fresh in the morning.

Here are a few things I have been thinking about lately just before I slip into dreamland:

(1) I must be better prepared next year for wintery weather: if it weren't for the photos, I doubt Grant would even remember that his mother made him wear his sister's pink rain boots and purple mittens because she didn't have the appropriate clothing for him

(2) I read this somewhere in blogland recently, and it has stuck with me: "I treat my children the way I expect them to treat each other, if I yell and scream at them, I can see that reflected in how they behave with one another.".........I SO believe this! Now, must put it into practice!!

(3) My new goal, is to have a more fun, upbeat attitude during dinner. Dinnertime is not my finest hour......I am usually struggling to figure out what to make for dinner, the kids are running around like crazy people, I keep waiting for the back door to open and for my husband to walk through the door, etc..... By the time we all sit down to eat, I am generally frustrated and just ready for everyone to finish so I can clean up and start bath time. This is not OK!! I want my children to have fond memories of dinner time as a family. I want to create an atmosphere that is comfortable and fun and free of stress.........and the only way I can achieve that goal is to model that behavior for my children.

(4) I read an article today over at The Mother Huddle that pretty much sums it all up

Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry- go-round

Or listened to the rain lapping on the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly’s erratic flight

Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

Do you run through each day on the fly?

When you ask “How are you?” Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done, do you lie in your bed

With the next hundred chores running through your head?

Ever told your child, “We’ll do it tomorrow.” and in your haste, not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die? Made a phone call, just call to say Hi?

When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift….

Thrown away.

Life is not a race. Take it slower.

Hear the music before the song is over.