my intention

I learned a lot from Oprah over the years (and 4:00 pm just hasn't been the same without her!!). One of the things I picked up from her show somewhere along the way was to speak of my desires and goals as intentions rather than simply saying "I would like to be/have/do _____."

With that in mind, I sat down this weekend and simply wrote about my intentions. I didn't edit or go back and re-read what I had written, I just put pen to paper and wrote from the heart.

Here's the result if that little exercise:

* my intention is to be the best wife and mother I can be

* my intention is to have a home that feels cozy and comfortable and that nurtures my family

* my intention is to read the Bible on a regular basis and to be in prayer continually

* my intention is to help others and to be the type of friend that I would like to have

* my intention is to be strong, vital, healthy and energized in mind, body and spirit

* my intention is to be kind to myself in words and thoughts and to wait patiently on God's direction while pursuing life to the fullest

* my intention is to travel with my family, to cook more meals together, to be active and engaged outdoors and in our community, to open our home to friends and family, to try new things and learn new skills, to foster a love of learning and books and people even when they may look or act or think differently than we do, to value silence and independence as well as a sense of belonging, to reach out, to get involved, to try again...even if (especially if) you fail the first time

*my intention to to be there for my children both physically and mentally - to really listen and to try and understand who they are

* my intention is to focus on gratitude and to be ok....even grateful for the way things are, exactly as they are today....to say "It is enough," "I am enough"..... our home is enough, our paychecks are enough, we have enough stuff, enough gadgets, enough toys, enough clothes - knowing that we will likely acquire more, but being completely OK with what we have today. I don't cook very often or well, but I am enough. I don't have a "full time job" right now, and I have been in this "middle place" for quite sometime now, and that is OK. I don't have the finest clothes or the latest IT bag, I don't blow dry Sienna's hair every morning before school or dress her in expensive outfits, Grant needs a haircut like yesterday, the kids should eat more vegetables and way less sugar. I'm terrible at thank-you notes, I haven't worked out since Grant was born (he's 4!!), a vegetable rarely crosses my lips, and I consume embarrassing amounts of cheese pizza. I'm opinionated, sometimes judgmental, and totally guilty of wanting a whole new house every time the new Pottery Barn catalogue comes out. I have a tendency to try and control things and people, and I lash out at the people I love when I am afraid - but I'm learning that it's all OK - I am enough. God loves me flaws and all

* my intention is to work on the parts of myself that need repairing, but to do it gently, with patience and with the knowledge deep within my soul that I am enough exactly as I am today

* my intention is to remember that everyone else is enough as well....everyone has a story, everyone has a past and everyone is hurting for some reason or another - my intention is to be kind, to be forgiving

* my intention is to ride the ups and downs of life with grace and to remember that "this too shall pass" but to be mindful that the great times are fleeting as well - grab hold of great moments, be "in" them fully and completely, take pictures, journal, write it down, document the journey - remember how many times you thought a certain season in life was so very tough only to look back on that time with fondness and extreme gratitude for the "good ole days"

So there you have it. I didn't intend for this turn into a manifesto of sorts, but after I wrote it, I felt compelled to share. What does it say about me that I always feel compelled to share. Hmmmmm???